still need clarification after guidence

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Permalink Reply by Dan (site assistant) on March 22, 2008 at 1:16pm

Maybe it's because it's one of the hardest thing to do that you should chant for that person's happiness. I can easily chant someone into a wall (and I do quite a lot). Our fundamental dark nature & partly our ego muddies up our perceptions and far easier to think of that person as an 'external' - someone outside of ourselves. Could it be that that other person that we're angry at is because he/she may remind us so much of ourselves? If our environment, the people we deal with everyday is the reflection of the mirror of our life, then we have to deal with the fact that that reflection is us or you.

On another level, because that difficult person is in our life, he/she is precisely why we can use the situation to change who we are or help us deepen our practice and faith in the Gohonzon. So maybe chant to gain the appreciation that that person is the one who'll help you clean or clear up your reflection in the mirror of your life.

"The life of a person who shrinks before oppression and tries to get by with cunning strategies and falsehoood is exremely pitiful. Such a life is self-defeating. Rather, by fighting against and pushing through all the evil that oppresses one, both internally and externally, one establishes a magnanimous self and a profound and happy state of life. This is the purpose of faith." Daisaku Ikeda, from book of Courage, page 28.

&

"It is not easy for people to exhibit compassion. Many people who claim to have compassion are actually hypocrites. That is why courage is a more apt word than compassion. To courageously speak about what is right is tantamount to compassion. Courage and compassion are like two sides of the same coin." p. 10

best,

Dan

Permalink Reply by Bodhisattva of the Earth on March 23, 2008 at 12:54pm

Dan,
thank you so much for your words of encouragement
Edilma

Permalink Reply by Linda on March 23, 2008 at 7:05am

Been thinking about your question - and yes, it's not easy to chant for someone we feel is hurting us or our loved ones. This morning, however, I woke up with two possible answers to you.
The first is the following extract from an essay by sensei [Seiko Shimbun October 23, 2004] it's a wonderful essay about Pascual and Angela Olivera:
"When Angela del Moral first met Pascual Olivera, she was in her late 20s and already one of Spain’s top dancers.
But she had a problem. A fellow dancer in Angela’s troupe was making life miserable for her, hoping to usurp Angela’s position as prima ballerina. Angela conferred with Pascual. She had just met him, but having listened to him speak sincerely about the joy of practicing Buddhism, Angela trusted him.
His suggestion, however, astonished her. “Angela,” he said, “you need to confront this issue head-on. In other words, you need to pray for your colleague’s happiness.”
Angela couldn’t believe her ears. She didn’t want to pray for her rival, the very person who was trying to harm her career.
“That’s exactly why you need to pray for her,” explained Pascual. “A happy person would not wish to hurt another. Try looking at the situation from her point of view.”
As she listened to Pascual, Angela realized what a genuinely beautiful heart he possessed.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you became friends?” Pascual continued. “You can change poison into medicine through chanting. Try it, and you’ll see it’s true.” As Pascual spoke to her, Angela felt as if she could see his soul, clear as a pure mountain lake, shining behind his green eyes.
She began to chant, repeating to herself: “I like her. I want her to be happy.”
Angela’s thoughts must have touched the other dancer’s heart, for she gradually stopped being unpleasant and in fact quickly warmed to Angela, in time becoming one of her lifelong friends."

Always remember that a person who is treating other's like that is in pain. Hell, hunger or animal are terrible life states. But to chant for a person who apparantly "lives" there often requires that we chant to be in an elevated life state from which we are able to feel compassion.

The second thing that came to mind this morning was the Gosho "Good Friends and Bad Friends" - it is a very surprising Gosho, I think and a nice tool to bring along on our journey together with all sorts of people.

Good luck - I hope you find the answers that will work for you

Permalink Reply by Bodhisattva of the Earth on March 23, 2008 at 12:48pm

thank you so much, I will chant to change this poising in to medicine.
sincerely
Edilma

Permalink Reply by Lora on March 23, 2008 at 2:27pm

Please visit the new website www.joseitoda.org and click on the link "Human Revolution" there is a quote there that pretty much explains it. Another site is Soka Spirt web site, and read about Fundamental Justice. Blaming others for our misery is not the solution, because we are the feel the misery, the problem is within. Take care.
Lora

Permalink Reply by Bruce Jewett on March 23, 2008 at 9:30pm

Lots of good points from the other posters. Here's my 10 yen's worth:

There is the Buddhist concept of "Esho Funi," oneness of person and environment. Basically, whatever and whoever is around you is a direct reflection of your own life. This person giving you all this negative feedback is a manifestation of something in you. Change your life (by chanting, by activities, by developing your own enlightened compassion) and your nemesis will change. We cannot change others unless we change ourselves.

Sure, you will start chanting insincerely but even that daimoku has value. Keep up the seeking spirit, get guidance, ask other members to help you chant about this. I have had similar problems in the past and with the awareness of esho funi, I was able to completely win. Soon you will, too.

Permalink Reply by Pat on March 23, 2008 at 11:53pm

Edilma,

This is a great question because it is so universal! We all have these people in our lives that challenge us.

We are taught from the beginning of our practice that we have a two-part practice: Practice for self & others. It’s not practice for self & nice people, eh? LOL! These people that mess with our “peace” are really our good friends. They are teaching us compassion. There is no other way to learn it. It’s easy to be compassionate to the people we like.

So when we get guidance to chant for the person that is causing us discomfort, we are not just chanting for the other person but for our own human revolution.

Linda mentioned Pascual.who was the champion of chanting. I had the fortune to have Pascual as a mentor. Early in my practice he came to my home and gave me guidance that changed my life almost immediately by telling me how to change my chanting. Sometimes we miss the “simple” stuff looking for the profound!

You can read the entire article that Linda quoted from Here:
Pascual and Angela Olivera

I appreciate YOU for asking this question!

Permalink Reply by Grady Broyles on March 24, 2008 at 2:41pm

Thank you for this. I read your question and my head almost exploded with excitement because this is what my practice right this second is all about! There is no shortage of amazing responses already. I'm blown away (again) the discussions here. This is the biggest, most important thing I have ever learned in my short 38 years in this body. No exaggeration. It is the source of my happiness.

When I post here, I usually do it slowly with a certain deliberation to my writing because I want to afford the discussion the respect of thoughtful words. I'm learning to enjoy writing. This is a little different for me. So I apologize if I seem less organized. My entire environment is reflecting for me some very old, dug-in, rooted, bad, bad karma. I'm many years removed from it but, a reflection of that old life lives in the unit next door to me. He has made life difficult for many here and has been tolerated for a long time. People probably hoped he would go away. But. This neighbor and I have more than a few common acquaintances as coincidence would have it and so I am almost daily running into people, in front of my apartment, that I banished from my life decades ago. And thought, blissfully perhaps, that I would never have to deal with again. Anyway I got the same guidance, of course, and it got me to thinking. I am not one to play at "fake-it-till-you-make-it." As optimistic as I am as a Buddhist so was I the insufferable cynic and its not in my cellular make-up to fake compassion for anything. Especially not in front of the Gohonzon. So I really felt weird about this for a while. And thought, "Well, I can chant for him to encounter nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo, and then that way he'd start acting better and problem solved, right? Mmmm. I wasn't so sure.

Enter the Lotus Sutra. The Sutra is by anyones account a dense read, right? But, from looking in the Gosho and through President Ikeda's works for some answers, I kept finding Nichiren and Pres. Ikeda referring over and over to Bodhisattva Never Disparaging from the Lotus Sutra. There's a whole chapter of the sutra dedicated to him. I figure it must be important, solid guidance. So I read it the first time. Even though people thought him arrogant for going around and predicting enlightenment for people and hit him and cursed him. He would only go about bowing and announcing that he would never disparage them and that they were on the Bodhisattva path and would attain enlightenment. OK. Good solid advice. It's how President Ikeda lives. And amazing to sincerely react that way. - that for me corresponded to the "chant for their happiness" guidance. I thought, OK I can do that because it adds to my happiness.

Wow, am I glad I didn't let it go at that. Because the true meaning of that story is that Bodhisattva Never Disparaging realized the true entity of that phenomenon. Which was that he was enduring the abuse because of his own causes from the past. Harsh, but the truth. But without those people, he would have had nothing to overcome. And overcoming the situation with the mystic law (his response) was wiping out past karma. The story ends that at the end of his life, because he had acted the way he did he had wiped out all his negative karma, (as a result of perceiving the truth as both cause and effect) his life was extended he attained enlightenment and went about spreading the Lotus Sutra.

So what is better than that? And instead of anger toward the offender, he correctly felt gratitude for the opportunity through that person to expiate negative karma. And it's easy to chant for people for whom you have gratitude. What stuck me like a thunderbolt was that as long as I "perceive the true nature" of the situation, I never can be defeated by such a person. Because my perception of them changes from adversarial to gratitude. Instantly. Suffering be gone! poof! So the deep meaning of Bodhisattva Never Disparaging is that he represents our ability to ....

Permalink Reply by Grady Broyles on March 24, 2008 at 2:53pm

transform our karma. Poison into medicine. Literally.

Permalink Reply by Linda on March 25, 2008 at 7:06am

WOW! That changes a lot in a story that I haven't read myself - yet. Thanks.
This bodhisattva is often mentioned and I've read extracts of the Sutra, but never heard this.
I've heard that often while people were throwing stones at him, he would place himself at a safe distance and shout:"And I still respect you" or something like that. What this part of the story told me was very simple - namely that some people you have to "admire from afar" because you need to take care of your own safety and at the same time respect and have compassion for the "stone thrower".

Permalink Reply by Jack Chui on March 29, 2008 at 9:27pm

Another point to this Bodhisattva standing from afar as well is, when avoiding being hit by stones, he was preventing the stone throwers from furthering their negative karma. It's not that he/she's just concerned of his/her own safety, but also caring for other's karma as well.

Permalink Reply by Janice D'Amore on March 30, 2008 at 6:51am

Yes. Very much to the point of the 'keta' part of our practice. It's amazing that someone would have that much compassion/enlightenment to think how, those on the attack, will be prevented from creating more negative karma. What the world needs now....

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